He stood up against the bare wall. His chest was rising and falling, his abdominals expanding and hollowing. All synchronised, down and up, in and out. The last few minutes he had been waiting to hit the wall. Both literally and figuratively. Knowing to its essence, the very only sentence that had gone through his mind during his run: neverever breathless. It captivated him, as if the mental distinguished between body and mind had never existed. He heard a howl.
Tom Jensen, 28, died in October, 1956. He was caught up by a wolf and killed when travelling through wilderness.
Neologism of the day
10 hours ago
Own comment: The selected sentence is highlighted with italic.
ReplyDeleteHmm, that's a phrase, not really a sentence, but OK. Wonder if you got it by reading backwards, or what?
ReplyDeleteI see the meaning generated by the seed phrase - it led you to imagine a character and a setting. The story, however, is a fragment and not quite well enough developed.
Some language problems: "the mental distinguished between..." makes no sense. "Distinction", the noun, would make sense. "Knowing to its essence" - a Danism, 'kende til' - "the very only" - not idiomatic English at all
I probably called "neverever breathless" a sentence because it stood on its own in the context. But I think I understand where you are coming from (i.e. it has not a subject-verb structure).
ReplyDeleteYes I did find the phrase reading through my text backwards, but my writings were mostly just one word following the next (and not cohesive sentences). This is perhaps why "neverever breathless” seems to be more understandable than “breathless neverever”.
Regarding it being a fragmented text, then yes I agree. In some sense it can be classified as fragmented. Readers are left to themselves to image any larger story.
I agree with you on the problem with “"the mental distinguished”
Regarding the idioms, you are most likely correct. I am not yet able to separate Danish and English idioms in a “proper” way.