A polar bear approached the ship and, smelling the cauliflower soup cooking for lunch, promptly poked his head through an open porthole - (WG 5)

Cook‘s log: January 23rd evening on board the John F. Kennedy arctic explorer II

It’s been quite an eventful day. First thing I did was to cook up my cauliflower soup, taking whatever I could from our rations to pulverize in my blender. I used cans with chicken/duck/rooster flavour, some garlic, tree onions and a sack full of Atlantic potatoes. I fear I’m at a Dead end. One time the crew put on a sign on my cauldron saying: Bottomless pit – 65 feet deep. My guys are really gonna be longing for KFC’s after eating this.
I was told a strange story by the radioman. He had just intercepted a Canadian radio channel, which played a lipstick commercial for Revlon followed by a silly country song called “Caution, this sign has sharp edges”. The first lines went something like:
Hank, let’s talk about your daddy
Tell me how your momma loved that man
Well, just break a bottle hoss
I’ll tell ya’ about the drifting cowboy band
I could understand why he had put the following sign on that radio: Be careful, this machine has no brain, use your own. However he was able to get one conversation through for me:
Hey, Champ, how was the lecture?
It was okay, happy to be home with Lucas.
Yeah, that reminds me, what are you doing tomorrow night, all of you?
I think we’re going to have my in laws coming over, but I don’t know.
Makes me think of how far this Sirius expedition is from home. I miss my family, even my annoying mother in law with her addiction to Skittles or my son Harry. I laugh each time I think of how he explained gravity: “It’s falling down. Because you can’t stay on/up there, can you? Because you just fall, and you can’t fly. That’s why”. I remember reading “The Golden Compass” aloud to him under his silly lamp, only to hear him complain about the absence of hammers and revolvers in it. He’s gonna be a tough guy when he grows up.
I think the solitude is driving me crazy. All I have to amuse myself with in my room is a poster of “The Clocks” and a sign saying “When flooded turn around, don’t drown”. I’m gonna Stop writing for now. I need to find out what is lurking outside the porthole.

Louise and Niels